The overwhelming futility of learning something new. AKA pushing 30

2026-04-25

I think it's a feeling that most people have when learning something new. Aspecially something that takes thousands of hours to master. The feeling that this is futile and some days or even weeks you're barely moving forward, that persuing this interest is absolutely futile. Well I definetely always had that feeling and found it hard to push throught it at times - aspecially with a lot of other things happening in my life. This feeling is drenched in a weird and slimy tinge of inadequacy - a tinge that makes it really easy to swipe the whole interest under a rugh and just ignore it.

Well now that I'm 28 this feeling is more prevelant than ever. I often almost feel it mixing with some sort of a "midlife crisis soup". Picking up Reaper and trying to learn music theory, composition, what the heck is an oscilator and how synths work feels like I'm trying to rush through knowledge that I wanted to pick up years ago, but just didn't.

Ofcorse it's difficult in itself - learning something new when there are a thousand things to take care of every week in my personal life and work. But I think it's important for me to buckle up and push through this. Because no matter how hard it is - the feeling I get at the end of the day when I figured what a knob in a synth plugin does - still leaves me with a great feeling of satisfaction. Think it's important to focus on things like that.

First post! Yippie!

2026-03-31

Well here we go! Finally got to making a second page... Which is kind of dumb because I'll tire myself out making sure that the side bars are the same on each page, but that's part of the fun I guess.
Anyway gotta get back to work now. Working from home and workign on the website today whenever I feel like procrastinating.(Don't tell my boss)

Also a reminder to myself: MAKE THE DAMN LINKS TO THE PAGE WORK YOU SILLY GOOSE